Now, I’m not saying these are conscious reasons why dating a man quite a bit older—there have been several moments when I’ve thought that going out with someone closer to my age would be much simpler.
I even tried it when my boyfriend and I took a short break, and I found it was painstakingly difficult and more complicated than my experience dating an older guy. The texting games (How long should I wait to text him back? It’s exhausting), the fear of commitment that plagues most twentysomethings, and the simple fact that most guys my age aren’t as emotionally mature as I am.
The age gaps spanned anywhere from 10 to 14 years, with women in their late 40s and early 50s enjoying relationships and/or marriage with men in their late 20s or 30s. Couples in this situation had to address the fertility concern head-on, with some choosing to take the leap relatively quickly while others took a pass.
And then there’s also the concern about one’s looks.
If I follow what feels right, am I setting myself up for future failure? Usually, we don't question the things we know in our gut to in our best interests.
You are concerned that a 15 year age difference may be a "terrible idea" or "setting yourself up for future failure." Are these irrational concerns, or is this your intuition trying to out-talk your infatuation?
I'm a single man, age 52, and although that sounds old to many people, it doesn't feel old to me.
In fact, I'm still attracted to the same type of woman who has always piqued my interest -- women in their late-20s or early-30s.
It's really a case of two kindred spirits being separated by a lot of numerical years. - Old Soul, 27 Dear Old Soul, Just the fact that you are presenting this question makes me wonder if you already know the answer.Dear Christine, I started dating a man and we have an amazing connection. I had NEVER considered or imagined I would be drawn to someone so much older. Do I turn away what seems to be my perfect match because of the age gap?We have endless and effortless conversations about the myriad interests we share, he's hilarious (and he thinks I am too), we share the same values in life, I feel like I can be 100% myself with him. Let me be clear, I'm not drawn to him because he "fathers me." I have a great, solid relationship with my dad and have no issues there.Evolutionary psychologists say that relationships like this often occur because while fertility lasts only from puberty to menopause in women, it starts at puberty and can extend long into midlife for lots of men.That means there’s a strategic advantage for women to snag an older gent—he’s had more time to accumulate resources and stability than his younger counterparts, which could make him a more viable partner and father.Fortunately, that’s changing as more older-woman and younger-man couplings make headlines.